Movie Review: Disney’s Toy Story 4 Captures Mankind’s Love of Trash
Disney’s latest sequel has taken the fans on another emotional roller coaster, exploring the human condition, and mankind’s love of trash…(read more)
Dog Who Ate Homework Feels Guilty, Also Smarter
The family dog, Scooter, is struggling with guilt after eating Matt’s chemistry homework…
Community Theater Burns Down, Finally Offering Something Interesting to Watch
The local community theater caught fire during the first act of Hairspray last night, finally drawing the public’s attention as they sat in the parking lot and watched the flames for 90 minutes, no intermission.
Art Major Uses Degree to Make Artisanal Salad at Wendy’s
Rupert Beansprout (32) has earned himself an Employee of the Month recognition from the local Wendy’s after the regional manager noticed the exceptional craftsmanship of his Harvest Chicken Salad.
Parents Sue Pet Store: Rabbit Still Alive Day After Easter
Tiffany and Zach Gremkock are suing Pet Palace after the bunny that they bought as an Easter present for their four year old daughter, Sadie, was still alive on Monday morning.
Girl Waiting to Enter Train: ‘Can You Guys Scoot In?’
CHICAGO, IL – Daisy just wants to get on the train, like everybody else. She got out of bed late, like everybody else, and like everybody else, she has to… Read more Girl Waiting to Enter Train: ‘Can You Guys Scoot In?’ →
IT Department Opens Internet Explorer, Loses All Trust From Accounting Team
Rumor has it that when Andrea from development was having issues with her Outlook disconnecting last month, Owen opened up Internet Explorer to find the fix.
Jussie Smollett Makes Final TV Appearance
CHICAGO, IL – The State has dropped all charges against Jussie Smollett after months of media coverage alleging that the actor staged a hate crime against himself in order to… Read more Jussie Smollett Makes Final TV Appearance →
Boss Picks Nose During Performance Review In Strange, Effective Power Move
NEW YORK, NY – While listing the positive aspects of Kelly’s annual performance, Pete Fiorne, CEO of Hasbrah, kept his finger firmly planted in his right nostril.
Nigerian Prince Can’t Get Email Response To Save His Life
ABUJA, NIGERIA – The Prince of the “Giant of Africa” was kidnapped in 1990, and has been desperately sending emails to random strangers for nearly 30 years without response.
Fox Wonders If That Chicken From Last Week Is Still Good
FRANKFORT, KY – A fox in the southern part of town cannot for the life of it remember if the chicken that sits in front of him was killed last Thursday or last Saturday.
‘Orange is the New Black’ Season 7 Rewritten to Include Aunt Becky
LOS ANGELES, CA – The writers’ room of ‘Orange Is The New Black’ is working hard to rewrite the show’s finale to include Lori Loughlin, following her recent charge for conspiracy in a college admissions scandal.
Netflix’s ‘Bird Box’ Announces Sequel, ‘Fish Jar’ Starring Nicole Kidman
In an effort to make a sequel so bad that you literally have to wear a blindfold to avoid it, the Netflix saga will follow Nicole Kidman lost at sea with only…
America Enraged As Hundreds of Gold Statues Held in Camps at Californian Border
While Ellen campaigns for Kevin Hart on her show, and Americans scour Twitter for a member of the Hollywood Elite with a clean feed, hundreds of solid bronze, 24-karat plated gold statuettes remain without a home
Where’s The Waitress? Dead.
“Is the waitress EVER going to bring our check?!” Burt threw his purple arms in the air, bringing his meaty fists down onto the table so that everyone’s plates, the ones not yet cleared from the missing waitress, bounced and clattered.
