The Out of Office Message We All Want To Send
If you try this, let us know how it goes?
'Valentine's Day is About Greeting Cards,' Says Woman Who Won't Be Getting One
MILWAUKEE, WI – Valerie Varth (25) thinks Valentine’s Day is stupid, and has held that opinion ever since she stopped seeing her cheating, idiot boyfriend in February of 2016. “I… Read more 'Valentine's Day is About Greeting Cards,' Says Woman Who Won't Be Getting One →
Sleeping Man Can't Tell If He Hit Snooze Once or 5,557 Times
DENVER, CO – 6:00 a.m. Monday morning, an alarm goes off in Vinny Sandradini’s bedroom. Half-asleep, the 29 year old throws his open palm down on his nightstand, feeling for the small noise-rectangle from which the horn is honking.
Movie Review: Disney’s Toy Story 4 Captures Mankind’s Love of Trash
Disney’s latest sequel has taken the fans on another emotional roller coaster, exploring the human condition, and mankind’s love of trash…(read more)
Dog Who Ate Homework Feels Guilty, Also Smarter
The family dog, Scooter, is struggling with guilt after eating Matt’s chemistry homework…
Self-Labeled Blogger Remembers His Login Password After 2 Months
Because he was working on his screenplay.
Girl Waiting to Enter Train: ‘Can You Guys Scoot In?’
CHICAGO, IL – Daisy just wants to get on the train, like everybody else. She got out of bed late, like everybody else, and like everybody else, she has to… Read more Girl Waiting to Enter Train: ‘Can You Guys Scoot In?’ →
Fox Wonders If That Chicken From Last Week Is Still Good
A fox in the southern part of town cannot for the life of it remember if the chicken that sits in front of him was killed last Thursday or last Saturday.
Hidden Valley Ranch Found
The famous Hidden Valley Ranch, where salad dressing flows like lava from beautiful, multicolored volcanoes of Italian, Balsamic, French, Raspberry Vinaigrette, and that famous zesty white stuff, has been found through a crawl space of a Rue21 dressing room in
Single Woman Finds Warm Toilet Seat Strangely Comforting
TULSA, OK – Darla Skidder recounted an audacious discovery after entering her office bathroom Wednesday mid-morning; holding the door for her exiting co-worker, Cheryl. “I knew right then that Cheryl must’ve just gotten up from one of the toilet seats…but which one?”
Father Loses Temper, Finds Remote
COLUMBIA, SC – “Damnit–WHERE’S THE REMOTE?!” Tony Schligia (42) hollers to his family, standing 6′ 1″, 270lb in a sleeveless undershirt and basketball shorts in the living room of his modest ranch home.
Awkwardly Religious Aunt Already Practicing Thanksgiving Prayer
WICHITA, KS – With Thanksgiving only 22 days away, your overly-religious Aunt awoke from her sleep this morning filled with inspiration — to draft the family prayer for Thanksgiving.
“The pressure to perform well for the Lord can be very intimidating. With the exception of Christmas, this is the one chance I have each year to
Costumed Partygoer Pauses To Consider If Killer Is Right Behind Him
(LOS ANGELES – CA) At a Halloween party at his buddy Josh’s girlfriend’s house, Quinn couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy surrounded by devils, demons, and sexy nurses. Were they really just people in costume, or were they
New Study Finds Men Staring at Cleavage Know Where Eyes Are
PRINCETON, NJ – A new study from Princeton University finds that out of 100 men caught staring at a woman’s cleavage and told, “my eyes are up here,” 99.6 percent of them already knew that.
Biker Gang Leader Decrees Yoga No Longer ‘Hippie Gay Sh*t’
(Waco, TX) Guerrilla Riders National President Jeremy Oldman, 64, has decreed that the long tradition of making fun of yogies must come to an end, after an amazing free session at Moonrise Yoga that left his back feeling wonderful.
