SUGAR LAND, TX – Bill releases a mighty belch and bows his head in prayer to ask the Good Lord for help finishing the Arby’s Meat Mountain Sandwich.
Balloons (they look like brightly colored, yummy fish!)
Utensils (forks, knives, spoons, sporks, they all feel the same when clogged in an airway)
Gregory the Giraffe, a lobbyist from Arlington Heights, Illinois, is an undeniable sharp shot with a rifle. The South African native has been hunting for years, with human trophies from all over the world: France, China, Germany, Australia.
Last week, Amazon unveiled their new In-Car Delivery service, allowing Prime members to have packages left in their car like a newborn baby during a flash sale at TJ Maxx.… Read more Amazon Prime Delivers Breakfast in Bed →
‘A Quiet Place’ earned 50 million dollars in its opening weekend, as thousands of people flooded movie theaters to escape the noise of American culture. Writer/Director John Krasinski’s film immediately… Read more Movie Review: ‘A Quiet Place’ Portrays a Peaceful World Where Everyone Shuts Up Already →
“You won’t catch me on my phone while driving!” exclaims Fannie Brynton (46) while driving to her job in downtown Seattle, one hand on the wheel of her 2011 Prius… Read more Mom Shames Texting And Driving While Plucking Chin Hairs At 60 MPH →
On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went in front of the television to watch “Queer… Read more Jesus Has Risen as Jonathan from Queer Eye →
The American mattress retail chain Mattress Firm has decided to take a softer approach to the box spring business. Since its founding in 1986, the company has always believed that… Read more Mattress Firm Lightens Up →
Tony, come in. Have a seat. Now before we begin, I just want to say… You have one kick-ass cubicle. We all love walking by your work area; with the most epic… Read more Guy with Decked Out Cubicle About to Have a Really Awkward Office Firing →
If you haven’t been to a church service in awhile, you may be surprised to find that the Catholic Church is still passing around an offering plate with, get this,… Read more Catholic Church Still Passing Around That Plate, Even Though There’s No Food On It →
“Soggy bottom!” Berry declared as she savagely ripped the head from a sugar cookie Santa Claus. “And the middle is underdone. Quite pathetic.”
Crushing student debt, low salaries, poor benefits, and high taxes are major reasons behind Millennials being unable to spend significant amounts of money on gifts this holiday season. But they… Read more Dogs of Millennials Can’t Afford Gifts This Season →
PHOENIX, Arizona – Tracy Parsons (33) announced to her coworkers today that she is giving up drinking soda, in the hopes that everyone will recognize this as a healthy lifestyle… Read more Tracy Quits Soda Now So It Doesn’t Seem Like a New Year’s Thing →
HOLLAND, MI – Temperatures have fallen below 32 degrees Fahrenheit, but your dad wants to remind you that, “it’s not that cold out”.
NORTH POLE – Sources have confirmed that Saint Nicholas “Santa” Claus has put every single staff member of the current White House Administration on the Naughty List this year.