MILWAUKEE, WI – Valerie Varth (25) thinks Valentine’s Day is stupid, and has held that opinion ever since she stopped seeing her cheating, idiot boyfriend in February of 2016. “I… Read more ‘Valentine’s Day is About Greeting Cards,’ Says Woman Who Won’t Be Getting One →
DENVER, CO – 6:00 a.m. Monday morning, an alarm goes off in Vinny Sandradini’s bedroom. Half-asleep, the 29 year old throws his open palm down on his nightstand, feeling for the small noise-rectangle from which the horn is honking.
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jeremy (19) just came out to his father, Chuck (49) while they were driving back from a car show. He hadn’t meant to do it, but the conservation of dating came up, and Jeremy couldn’t hold it in any longer.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have declared their intention to step down from the streaming service titan, The Royal Family, to start their own digital platform somewhere in Canada.
Welcome! Thank you for your recent subscription to HeatMeUp dinner meal-kits. We appreciate your business, and hope to make meal time easier for your family’s busy lifestyle. We would also… Read more Cancelled Home Delivery Service Reminds You That They Know Where You Sleep →
Happy Halloween!! The killer who was waiting for you to come home from work so he could jump out from behind the shower curtain and stab you has decided to… Read more Killer Hiding Behind Shower Curtain Super Grossed Out By The Hair in the Drain →
September 30, 1846 Dear Diary, Virginia is a dream. My family’s farmland a haven from the infested soil of our homeland, and the famine that brought us here. Since arriving… Read more Dear Diary: What Do Pants Feel Like? →
UNITED STATES – The people want more pumpkin. They want to eat, drink, and wear pumpkin. They want to take pumpkin home on the first date, and do unspeakable things… Read more NEW Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Pumpkin Spice Will Hit You Right in the Pumpkin Patch →