ABUJA, NIGERIA – The Prince of the “Giant of Africa” was kidnapped in 1990, and has been desperately sending emails to random strangers for nearly 30 years without response.
A fox in the southern part of town cannot for the life of it remember if the chicken that sits in front of him was killed last Thursday or last Saturday.
“The ice cube touched her lips, and she went so pale,” said daughter Dorothy Clapp (55).
350 North American bird species are flying over the border from the Gulf of Mexico into the United States and Canada, promising trouble for any fool that gets in their way.
“Is the waitress EVER going to bring our check?!” Burt threw his purple arms in the air, bringing his meaty fists down onto the table so that everyone’s plates, the ones not yet cleared from the missing waitress, bounced and clattered.
Exhausted New York City bakery owner, Stephanie, finds herself trapped in the same lonely routine: work by day, fall asleep to Hallmark Channel Christmas movies on the couch by night. But this Christmas Eve, Stephanie wakes up to find herself in a Hallmark movie of her very own!
Junkins Toy Shop is an equal opportunity employer. We respect the religious views of all employees, and regret that our holiday party was so clearly Christmas themed. While the colors red and green are embraced by many as neutral festive decor, we understand that the “Merry Christmas” banner tilted the scales a bit.
The famous Hidden Valley Ranch, where salad dressing flows like lava from beautiful, multicolored volcanoes of Italian, Balsamic, French, Raspberry Vinaigrette, and that famous zesty white stuff, has been found through a crawl space of a Rue21 dressing room in
TULSA, OK – Darla Skidder recounted an audacious discovery after entering her office bathroom Wednesday mid-morning; holding the door for her exiting co-worker, Cheryl. “I knew right then that Cheryl must’ve just gotten up from one of the toilet seats…but which one?”
Vegan Bethany (24) has been invited to meet her boyfriend’s parents for the first time at their home this Thanksgiving. In her best efforts to offend the hosts, Vegan Bethany has come up with the following rude ideas:
COLUMBIA, SC – “Damnit–WHERE’S THE REMOTE?!” Tony Schligia (42) hollers to his family, standing 6′ 1″, 270lb in a sleeveless undershirt and basketball shorts in the living room of his modest ranch home.
WICHITA, KS – With Thanksgiving only 22 days away, your overly-religious Aunt awoke from her sleep this morning filled with inspiration — to draft the family prayer for Thanksgiving.
“The pressure to perform well for the Lord can be very intimidating. With the exception of Christmas, this is the one chance I have each year to
(LOS ANGELES – CA) At a Halloween party at his buddy Josh’s girlfriend’s house, Quinn couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy surrounded by devils, demons, and sexy nurses. Were they really just people in costume, or were they
Wendy, the tenured passive-aggressive receptionist at the office, has finally published her scandalous book, A Secretary’s Secrets. This 345 page tell-all details the hottest office gossip while giving away no solid information whatsoever.
MAUI, HAWAII- @ZenSteelOats69 uploaded a beautiful photo of his zen this morning, with a peaceful reminder to explore the beautiful curves of the Earth. He wants his Instagram followers to take in the bulging aura that yoga has provided him, and meditate on the happy trail to enlightenment that he is on.