Sleeping Man Can’t Tell If He Hit Snooze Once or 5,557 Times
DENVER, CO – 6:00 a.m. Monday morning, an alarm goes off in Vinny Sandradini’s bedroom. Half-asleep, the 25 year old throws his open palm down on his nightstand, feeling for the noise-rectangle from which the horn is honking. He hits the snooze button without ever opening his eyes, and falls back asleep.
He does this again every eight minutes, then three, as time marches on. The snooze settings for the 6:00 a.m., 6:15 a.m., 6:30 a.m., 7:00 a.m., and 7:30 a.m. alarms compound to create a symphony of whistles, beeps, and blares. Vinny dreams he is seated in a music hall.
At 8:05 a.m., as his alarm crescendos, the thought crosses Vinny’s mind that he may have overslept. He has no idea how much time has passed; whether it has been five minutes, an hour, or days since he first hit snooze. When he looks at the clock, he realizes he is going to be late for work (again) and during the proceeding mad dash to the office, decides it is time to force himself to wake up earlier.
That evening, he sets an alarm for 5:50 a.m., and nestles in for a good night’s rest.
Tuesday morning, when he finds himself again hitting snooze, Vinny decides to move his phone into the bathroom, where he will be forced to get out of bed in the morning to shut off the alarm.
Wednesday morning he wakes up later than ever, having successfully turned the alarm off in the bathroom before lying down on the living room couch, where he fell asleep with his phone underneath him, the sound of his snooze muffled deep within the couch cushions.
He slept with the lights on Wednesday night, in case it was the darkness of the morning keeping him from opening his eyes.
On Thursday he woke up before his alarm. Success! He got in the shower, got dressed, and even had time to grab a coffee on his way to work. He was finally going to start his days off right.
Because he woke up so early that morning, Vinny was exhausted by Thursday night. He fell asleep at 10:00 p.m. without setting his alarm.
Vinny lost his job on Friday, and no longer needs an alarm clock.