NEW YORK, NY – While listing the positive aspects of Kelly’s annual performance, Pete Fiorne, CEO of Hasbrah, kept his finger firmly planted in his right nostril.

“At first I was like, does he realize what he’s doing? But then I realized he was creating a distraction to keep me from asking about an annual raise,” said Kelly (24). “It was a brilliant tactic. One of the many reasons I think Mr. Fiorne is a brilliant, innovative boss.”

When asked where Fiorne came up with the idea to dig for gold to avoid shelling out cash, Fiorne shrugged and used his pinky to gather wax from his ear.

Brilliant.