Biker Gang Leader Decrees Yoga No Longer ‘Hippie Gay Sh*t’
(Waco, TX) Guerrilla Riders National President Jeremy Oldman, 64, has decreed that the long tradition of making fun of yogies must come to an end, after an amazing free session at Moonrise Yoga that left his back feeling wonderful.
“I hereby decree that yoga is no longer for the yuppies and the homosexuals,” Oldman said to his crew of 24 motorcycle riders at the Ragstop bar. “I encourage everyone to salute the sun with Crystal at Moonrise Yoga Studio on Woodway Drive, Wednesdays at 10am!”
This comes just two months after allegations were dropped against Oldman and the Riders for an epidemic of vandalized juice bars in the area.
“We’ve gotten a bad rap for too long. Perhaps a little downward dog will help us look inward between our rides through this great nation of ours,” Oldman said. “Namaste! Now let’s drink some beer!”