14 Ways To Kill a Turtle (Without a Plastic Straw!)

Over 100 million marine animals die annually from plastic debris in oceans.

That is one statistic pushing the Starbucks coffee chain’s decision to eliminate plastic straws from over 28,000 locations by 2020.┬áThat cuts out 1 billion straws per year that end up in the ocean, and from there, become deadly targets for marine life such as sea turtles, whales, and fish.

That being said, you’re probably wondering: That’s just great! Now how am I going to kill the turtles?!

Don’t worry, there are still plenty of opportunities to murder a turtle (say that five times fast!) with the following single use, plastic items:

  1. Balloons (they look like brightly colored, yummy fish!)

  2. Utensils (forks, knives, spoons, sporks, they all feel the same when clogged in an airway)

  3. Grocery and Produce Bags (make sure your two apples get their own bag, Janet)

  4. Plastic Cups (supersized)

  5. Food Storage Bags and Plastic Wrap

  6. Those Little Rings on the Mouth of a Milk Jug

  7. Those Six Ringed Soda Can Holder Things

  8. Soap and Shampoo Bottles (They make bars now, but that’s weird)

  9. Coffee Stirrers (basically, skinny straws!)

  10. Pens (inky straws!)

  11. Fast Food Containers

  12. Water and Soda Bottles

  13. Lids and Caps

  14. Fishing Nets (admittedly, probably not yours)

And if all else fails, we still have Oil Spills!

Here’s some science for you to avoid:


and a place to help that hopefully no one will donate to:


and a REALLY depressing video of the animal suffering from YOUR straw, so definitely DON’T WATCH:

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