Summer Solstice Arrives Early To Wedding, and Without a Gift

Elisa thought she would have the perfect wedding. Every detail was planned, from the outside ceremony in a local vineyard right down to the monogrammed hand soaps in the bathrooms of the reception hall. Nothing could ruin her big day, or so she thought.

Imagine the bride’s surprise when one of her most trusted friends declined her invitation claiming to be out of town, but then showed up anyway (and absolutely ruined her hair!). The Summer Solstice, which was scheduled to arrive this year on June 20th, was not anticipated to make an appearance at the couple’s June 19th wedding, but would prove to be a nightmare as Elisa walked down the aisle.

“It was like a Stephen King novel. The sun was so intense that poor Mama died from heat exhaustion during the exchanging of vows; not to mention the swamp butt that I was experiencing!” -Jorge, Father of the Bride

Several members of the wedding party, including the maid of honor, warned the newlyweds months in advance not to trust Solstice,  but Elisa insisted. To make matters worse, she provided no shade in the vineyard, leaving her guests to dry up like raisins. Literally!

“We were like, ‘Elisa, be reasonable!’ But she was all like ‘Guys, it’s fine!’. She was a real witch-with-a-b about the whole thing. Everyone knows that Summer Solstice doesn’t mean anything. Summer starts June 1st!” Isabelle, Maid of Dishonor

Now Elisa is left writing her thank you notes with third degree burns, which her friends and family say serves her right.


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