Welcome! Thank you for your recent subscription to HeatMeUp dinner meal-kits. We appreciate your business, and hope to make meal time easier for your family’s busy lifestyle. We would also… Read more Cancelled Home Delivery Service Reminds You That They Know Where You Sleep →
Happy Halloween!! The killer who was waiting for you to come home from work so he could jump out from behind the shower curtain and stab you has decided to… Read more Killer Hiding Behind Shower Curtain Super Grossed Out By The Hair in the Drain →
September 30, 1846 Dear Diary, Virginia is a dream. My family’s farmland a haven from the infested soil of our homeland, and the famine that brought us here. Since arriving… Read more Dear Diary: What Do Pants Feel Like? →
UNITED STATES – The people want more pumpkin. They want to eat, drink, and wear pumpkin. They want to take pumpkin home on the first date, and do unspeakable things… Read more NEW Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Pumpkin Spice Will Hit You Right in the Pumpkin Patch →
American Horror Story premieres its ninth season on FX tonight, titled 1984, and fans are already eagerly speculating how creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk will let them down, again.… Read more American Horror Story Fans Ready to See How Ryan Murphy Ruins This Idea, Too →
OAKLAND, CA – Kevin Handson, 57, was warned by his director to stop making his co-stars uncomfortable during rehearsals for Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, following increasingly disturbing complaints of sexual harassment.… Read more Actor Just “Pretending” To Be a Creep →
Following the release of his new self-published novel, Earth Babes Go to Outer Space, sci-fi writer Randall Cantwright admits to his readers that he wrote the entire book without ever… Read more SciFi Novelist Admits He Has Never Even Been to Space →
IOWA CITY, IA – While Mrs. Ferling showed a graph on the world’s population of 7.7 billion people to her 6th grade math class, Kelly doodled in her notebook, knowing… Read more World of 7 Billion People, Girl Finds Soulmate in Math Class →
REDINGTON BEACH, FL – A pilot whale washed up on the sand this weekend, and nearby beachgoers rushed to push the creature back into the toxic, polluted ocean. The whale… Read more Beached Whale Not Looking For Your Sympathy →
So you think the patriarchy is keeping you down by a wage gap of $0.79 for every dollar a man makes? Have you considered another number?
Disney’s latest sequel has taken the fans on another emotional roller coaster, exploring the human condition, and mankind’s love of trash…(read more)
The family dog, Scooter, is struggling with guilt after eating Matt’s chemistry homework…
The local community theater caught fire during the first act of Hairspray last night, finally drawing the public’s attention as they sat in the parking lot and watched the flames for 90 minutes, no intermission.
Because he was working on his screenplay.
April 24th is National Admin Appreciation Day, and the only person who knows that is the person who is in charge of calendars for your office — the Admins! The… Read more ‘Did Everyone Sign the Office Admin Appreciation Card?’ Asks Office Admin →